Reflections on Parenting

There are many books in the popular press that offer parenting advice. The soundest are those based on research and written by informed individuals who do not have a religious or political agenda. When you hear parenting advice from any source (i.e., books, TV, parents, friends, random strangers) it is vital that you ask yourself, “What is the source of their expertise?".

Too often those offering advice have no objective knowledge and have either not raised children of their own, or have done a pretty bad job of it. In parenting, “the proof is in the pudding.” Generally, troubled children come from homes in which there is poor to abusive parenting. Children are mirrors of their families. While to some, this sounds harsh, it is certainly not hopeless. As long as there is life, parents and children have opportunities to strengthen their relationships and grow healthier.

It is important to share a common language when talking about families and children. There are three books that I recommend. The first is readily available. The second two are more difficult to find, but well worth the search.

• Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting by John Gottman

• Children the Challenge by Rudolf Dreikurs

• Your Child’s Self Esteem by Dorothy Briggs.

The above books can be excellent tools to assist in the journey of understanding ourselves, our children, and our mutual relationships.